


Millon Dollar Man

by Lcstqr



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Anxiety, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Depression, Famous Dan Howell, First Meetings, M/M, Magic, Mental Health Issues, Phil Lester Is A Sweetheart, Sad Dan Howell, Singer Dan Howell, Therapy, Wicca, Witch Phil Lester, Witchcraft, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lcstqr/pseuds/Lcstqr
Summary: ❝ baby you're no good for me ❝Daniel Howell is somewhat of a Rockstar. A Rockstar with anxiety. After a breakdown on stage at one of his biggest concerts, he reluctantly seeks therapy. It just so happens that his new therapist also plays guitar in a band that he'd never heard of in a club that he'd stumbled across only that night. He also has a secret, a big one. From watering plants and making them instantly healthy to changing the weather depending on someones mood, Dan starts to unfold Phil Lester's secret.Just try not to fall in love with your therapist.{Yes the club's name is from Buffy, don't judge me}
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. I

The crowd blurred as Daniel dropped to his knees, he could barely hear the stage crew rushing to take him off. lights flashed as he shattered into a million pieces, cameras clicking to be the first to spread the news. He struggled as the paramedics rushed to take him away. now the whole world would know the true Daniel Howell, not the mask that he had managed to hide behind for all these years. 

Daniel had disguised himself in fur coats and platform heels for the past three years and it had all come down to that one performance, the biggest concert he had ever done. he was known for his pretty eyes and adorable dimple, he didn't know whether he loved the attention or loathed it completely because he had always thought that the only reason he was famous was because of the fake personality that he kept building up; this unbreakable wall that, he now knew, was very much breakable. 

\- -

The famous boy woke to the harsh light coming through his open window, Dan groaned and pulled his sheets over his head, recalling the events from the night before. how would he ever be able to recover his representation after that, he didn't want to turn on his phone, scared to see the news and pictures that were most definitely there. privacy isn't and will ever be an option in the music industry, as soon as one celebrity slips up, it's the whole world's business. his thoughts were soon interrupted by a phone call from his manager, Louise.

"are you alright, lovely?" she asked, before Dan could even open his mouth to speak.

"Tired." He replied, Dan knew he could always trust Louise with the truth.

"I know baby, I'm so sorry about last night, I should have known that such an audience would be too much," she rambled, "I can't tell you how sorry I am, the whole internet has blown up over it-"

"well there's nothing I can do about it now is there, we just have to face the fact that I had a fucking anxiety attack on stage. the world needs to grow up," Dan interrupted, there was really nothing that they could do except try to rebuild whatever reputation he had before, because, that was Dan, his sharp personality and fierce sense of style was what the people loved, along with the beautiful music he made. He didn't want his audience to see his true side, his dark, sad and definitely less beautiful side. Anxiety is an ugly thing to have.

"We can sort out the world later, but for now, I've called a therapist for you, you'll be seeing them tomorrow."

"When did I ask for a therapist?"

"You need one, Dan. You and I both know that, have you taken your medication yet this morning?"

"Yeah." It was a thing for him to lie about taking his meds, he never liked them, they made him feel weird. Louise never fell for it though.

"Daniel," she said firmly.

"Alright, I'll take them, who's this therapist person that I'm seeing tomorrow?"

"his name is Phillip Lester, he's very good at his job so you'll be in safe hands, he's kind of cute too, just saying."

"Louise, ew, don't say that about my fucking potential therapist." 

"hey hey, I'm not saying that, anyway, I'll leave you to your day."

they exchanged quick goodbyes and hung up the phone, now it was just Dan and his thoughts. he turned his phone off and threw it across his room where is hit the wall and landed on a faux fur rug. 

After a battle to get out of bed, Dan decided to have a shower. 

The boiling water soothed his muscles and unknotted his mind but Dan knew that it wouldn't last long, he didn't want to leave the house but at the same time, he loathed the idea of being on his own with nothing but his loud-as-fuck mind and nothing to distract it. 

He loved that he didn't have to straighten his hair any more, like he did in high school. now that he was 21, he had gained enough confidence to wear his hair curly, besides, his fans loved it. he buttoned up a long, plain shirt but stayed in his underwear and sat down at his piano. 

Playing the piano was the biggest escape from the world that Daniel had. he loved it more than anything he had ever owned. Dan started playing the piano at the age of 15 and never stopped. he started his career by accidentally going viral when he posted a cover of him playing Wonderwall by Oasis when he was 19. he never really knew that it was what he really wanted to do but there's no turning back now, Daniel Howell is one of the world's most famous singers. He's adored by millions of people, he's been on three world tours and has had eight of his songs get to the top 10s. Impressive right? He would never think so. Dan has never felt like he deserved this fame. 

The Golden Boy didn't take his meds.


	2. II

It was around 10pm that Daniel decided to go out. He knew that there would be people that would recognise him and it would definitely be some kind of news. He decided to go to London's closest Gay bar. Drinking. Dan never really gave a fuck about what people thought of him going into a Gay Bar. there had been a lot of conspiracies about him being gay but he has never said anything about it so most people respect it and leave it alone. Most people. 

He slipped on his least favourite fur coat on top of skinny jeans and a black shirt. His car was waiting for him outside of his house as usual, he told his driver where he wanted to go even though the driver seemed like he already knew the answer. it wasn't a long drive to the bar which luckily didn't give Dan enough time to get lost in his own mind. he let his driver open his door and help him out as he put on his mental personality-mask and strode towards the entrance where a broad man opened yet another door for him.   
Daniel wasn't there to meet anyone, he didn't want to make conversation, he didn't want his fame to get in the way of sitting in the corner with a strong drink, watching everybody make mistakes even though he would most likely be harassed for being there. 

It was quite a classy bar, there were lots of wealthy people there but it was open to just about anyone. Daniel sat in a booth as far away from the dance floor as possible, the flashing colours were a distraction as he sipped on a stupidly expensive martini. Sure enough, someone came up to the booth. Dan had never seen this man before and he didn't look very happy. 

"would you quit coming here, you're just a scrawny straight bitch who needs attention." he started, getting closer to the table.

"oh a fan!" Dan clasped his hands together with his sarcastic line. 

"get the fuck out of here." 

"you don't know shit about me, I can stay here if I fucking want and besides, darling, I'm not causing any harm." Dan said, voice slick with fake confidence. he didn't like when this kind of thing happened, it threatened to break down the walls that Dan had so carefully built around himself. 

"Hey James! Who're you talking to?" someone slurred from behind them. Dan looked round to see a group of young men leaning against the bar, along with one quiet and sort of awkward looking boy, he had a mousy brown quiff and a blue shirt that seemed to have little corgis, he looked like the only sober one there. 

Dan was about to speak when the brown haired boy spoke up.

"James, I think you should go home, I'll drive you and PJ because he looks like he's about to throw up." 

James waved his hand at Dan, absent mindedly staggering back to his group. Dan breathed a small sigh of relief as he caught the sober boy's eye, he glanced away almost immediately and Dan smirked, finishing his martini in one gulp. he watched them walk out and soon left himself, after finishing a second drink. 

it was around 12 at night by the time he got home, he undressed and clambered into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter will start getting longer but this was just a little filler while i work on the next chapters :)


	3. III

Daniel's head felt like knives the next morning, it wasn't because of the drinks, it was just always like that. He woke to the gate buzzer going off. Why in all of hell would someone be at his house so early. he changed that point when he checked his phone. it was 1pm and he had three missed calls from Louise. 

"Daniel, get your assistant to open the gate!" she says as soon as she picks up the phone.

"why?"

"therapy!"

"oh, shit."

Dan washed his face in his bathroom and put on a silk dressing gown, he wasn't going to open up about shit to this therapist and he didn't care that Louise would shout at him later for it.

A house worker opened the gate for a car that looked like one of his, turns out it was. Dan watched from his bedroom window at the car stopped in his driveway and the driver got out to open the door for the passenger. his jaw dropped when he saw the young man with black hair, clumsily get out of the back seat and walk up to the main entrance. the doorman let him in and then shouted for Dan to come downstairs. Dan smiled to himself and glided down his marble stairs into the foyer where the stranger was stood. he seemed to be breathless, looking around at everything with marvel. 

"Hello," Daniel said, smirking as the boy spun round, startled. 

"Oh, s-sorry, I'm Phil, I'm supposed to be your-"

"-therapist. yeah, I know." Dan's smile faded. 

"So, um, do you need to have some time to get changed or something?" he asked, nervously. 

"Darling, this is my house so I get to wear whatever the fuck I want. I saw you last night, you were with those nasty guys."

"What? I didn't think you'd recognise me, and those guys weren't all nasty, it was kind of just James, sorry about that by the w-"

"Sh sh shh, I cant be bothered, all forgotten ok?" Dan said, swiftly stepping towards Phil to quiet him. 

"So, therapy, where would you like to sit?" He stuttered, as if he'd forgotten why he's there.

"The lounge is just round the corner but I hope you understand that I'm not going to be saying anything to you, especially because you're a stranger. I don't like strangers."

"It's quite normal for the client to not want to open up about anything on the first few sessions, I can understand." Phil said as the pair moved towards the lounge. Dan didn't say anything as he opened the large doors. It was a nice room, a big corner sofa took up half of it and giant windows took up nearly the whole wall. Dan stepped over to the windows to cover them up with the big, silky curtains. he then flopped onto the sofa. Phil was left standing awkwardly in the door way, almost too scared to come into the room. 

"Come in, sit down." Dan said, pointing towards a big chair in the corner. He immediately shuffled over to it and set his bag down, pulling out a notebook and pen. 

"Ok, so, can you tell me what went through your mind two nights ago at your concert? What triggered your breakdown?" 

Dan went silent for longer than he wanted to be, his mind raced with everything he'd felt that night. obviously it wasn't his first breakdown but it was his first public one. The first one that had let people have an insight on what was really happening with the star that was Daniel Howell. 

"that's none of your business, the only difference that breakdown had to all the others is that it happened in front of millions of people." Dan shrugged after snapping out of his trance. 

"So you've had them before, do you suffer from any mental illnesses?" Phil asked, taking down a scribbly note in his book.

"I already told you that I don't want to talk about any of that. I'm going to go get breakfast." Dan was gone before Phil could say anything to stop him.

Dan leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath, he turned his kettle on with shaking hands. He didn't want therapy, it made him feel wrong. It felt like he didn't quite deserve it, like there was someone else out there that needed it way more than him. Like he didn't have a good enough excuse to have it. 

He was pouring a cup of strong coffee just as a text buzzed on his phone. It was from Louise. Opening it, he read that Phil had texted her saying to tell Dan that he'd left the house. Dan sighed and took his coffee upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! hope you enjoyed this chapter. This whole quarantine thing is really making me write. I put a little but about my personal feelings towards therapy at the end there (obviously it doesn't comply to everyone)  
> you'll also be seeing a lot more mystery in the way of Phil.


	4. IV

He didn't leave his room for the next two days and ignored nearly all of Louise's texts and calls. Staying as far away from social media as possible but even with that, his mind was becoming more and more unsettled, he'd have to go outside sooner or later.

Dan rolled out of bed and stumbled over to his CD player. It had big booming speakers either side of it that played music loud enough to drown out the chaotic rumble of thoughts that consistently bombards Dan's mind. His favourite CD sat atop one of the tall speakers. He places it into the player and presses start as Lana Del Ray's sweet voice blasts through the room. Dan falls backwards onto his bed to listen to the beautiful songs for. twenty minutes pass before the decision of getting up to take a shower was to be the best option. The first shower he'd had in days. 

being under the warm flow of water managed to at clear at least a little part of his screaming mind. The fact that such a simple use of time could make such a difference to someone's mind in the first place is absolutely amazing. Showers always made Dan feel slightly more at ease. that and pizza.

After drying himself off and getting dressed, Dan sipped at a bitter coffee that trying with all its might to burn a hole through his tongue. He decided to open his phone to text back Louise who had been constantly asking him if he was ok. He didn't dare look on twitter, dreading what his fans would be saying. It was difficult for him to just leave the house without getting bombarded by fans or reporters. He normally had a body guard with him and today would be one of the days that he wouldn't. His guard was called Joshua, he was quite a burly guy but he was very soft on the inside. It would be quite dangerous for Dan to go outside but he didn't care, he needed to take some time to himself. He didn't ask for this life after all.

\--  
the coffee shop was very small and not so crowded. Dan wore a long, black hoodie and black jeans that had rips in the knees. He sipped another coffee as his mother watched from the other side of the table. He didn't know why he called her there but she was here now.

"I heard the news about the meltdown you had, why didn't you call?" She asked.

Dan continued to stubbornly sip his beverage, not making eye contact with her. 

"I didn't have time, I was busy." He mumbled his lie over the top of the mug.

"You know you can talk to me Daniel." 

"I've started going to therapy, Louise got me appointments." Dan said, trying to keep his mother satisfied by letting her know that he's 'fine'.

"Is it going well?" she asked.

"well I've only gone once but I'd say its going pretty well." Phil flashed over his mind and he took a spluttery breath. they'd been sitting there for around half an hour and his coffee was getting cold, he didn't know whether he wanted to leave or stay for the familiarity of his mother's face. He decided to leave.

they said their goodbyes and walked out the café together. As if they had become magnets, People with cameras started swarming around them and asking them questions. They knew that he was with his mother and had always tried to get any information out of her that he could whenever they saw her. Dan pushed through the growing crowd and his mother followed quickly behind. They managed to escape the huddle and stormed towards the nearest underground train station. they exchanged quick goodbyes before Dan ran off towards the exit, pulling his hood up over his curls.

It was around 6:30pm by the time Dan got back to his house. He'd only been out for two hours and wanted to go out again. He couldn't stand the quietness of his house. It was probably because he was lonely, he didn't want to get into any relationships, especially with the last one he'd been in. It was a girl who'd only dated him for his money. It didn't feel right with her, something was wrong, out of place. He tried to be normal and had thought that dating a pretty girl would magically fix everything. it made it worse.

Dan kept himself buried in his black hoodie but decided to put on a layer of his favourite mascara. At 8pm, he went out again. He dismissed his driver and decided to venture into the city on his own. 

Walking the streets of London at night was where Dan is always at his happiest, it was always too late for lots of paparazzis to be out and about but the city was still buzzing. The lack of silence let dan escape from his mind. After a while of letting the city guide him around, he almost involuntarily stopped outside a small club with a sign reading 'The Bronze' on a street that he'd never been on. 

It wasn't too dark inside and there were a few people hovering around the bar or at different tables dotted around the place. soft lighting lit up the dance floor as dozens of people danced their night away. Little shimmers and stars seemed to hang in the air, illuminating the room. it looked almost like magic but of course, that would be insane. Dan got a drink from the bar and sat down at one of the free tables just as the music stopped and another band set up on stage. Dan didn't bother looking up at the stage until he heard the strum of a guitar, instantly recognising the song.

A beautiful girl stood at the front of the stage, singing Daniel's favourite song; 'Say Yes To heaven' by Lana del Rey but she wasn't who he was looking at. Phil stood behind the girl along with two other people with an electric guitar, the soft light hit his face as he softly strummed the instrument with delicate fingers. 

'if you dance I'll dance, if you don't I'll dance anyway-'

Dan sipped his drink, watching Phil's movements.

'give peace a chance, let the fear you have fall away.'

By the next line, Phil had found Dan's eyes. He let them lock into place but for some reason, confusion was the strongest feeling that Phil was reflecting towards him. 

'I've got my eye on you, I've got my eye on you' 

Phil and the other band members joined in on the next part, forming a beautiful chorus.

'Say yes to heaven-' 

eyes still locked. Still confused. 

'Say yes to me'

The song continued as Dan fluttered his eyes and looked away, pulling out his phone to text Louise.

D- Louise, i need you to research anything you can about Phil and tell me everything  
L- Phil lester??   
D- yes, don't ask questions, I've just seen him playing at the Bronze.  
L- The bronze????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favorite chapter that I've written so far! also, I didn't think that nearly 100 of you all would be interested in reading my story but I'm so grateful for you all! thank you for reading, see you next week -3-


	5. V

Daniel continued to watch in amazement as the band sung different songs, Phil still strumming peacefully at his guitar. He finished his drink and set it down, not moving from his seat as the band cleared up their equipment and another singer stepped onto the stage. everyone continued to dance as Dan locked eyes with phil. He didn't wave but it looked like Phil was ready to come over. He bounced off the stage, still in complete eye contact with Dan as a tall, blonde woman blocked Phil from going anywhere near him. She was talking straight at him before he could walk round her, she was obviously drunk but it looked like Phil was too polite to reject her as she continued to praise his guitar playing. From across the room, Dan saw his blue eyes continuously flicker over in his direction. Dan gave a nod and stood from his chair, making it just outside the door when about ten people bombarded him with cameras. Other people started noticing and whipping out their phones to snap pictures. Dan didn't know whether to hide or to give the people what they wanted. He decided that hiding was the better option when people with recorders started asking him about his breakdown the other night. He tried to push through the crowd but curious people kept pouring in left and right. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a hushed whisper that didn't quite make it to Dan's ears. A few more dangerous photos were taken as Phil shoved Dan over the street. 

"Phil-" Dan said breathlessly as the crowd dispersed, leaving them on their own. 

"Why are you out here on your own Dan? Didn't I tell you to stay home for a few days? A-and why- HOW are you here?" the confusion was spreading like wildfire over Phil's face. His glasses had slid to the end of his nose, threatening to take the leap of faith off his face all together. He pushed them back up, but wait, did he? Dan could have sworn that his fingers hadn't even touched his glasses.

"No, you didn't, I left before you got the chance to say anything and you cant tell me not to go out to clubs." 

"Oh, sorry about that, are you alright? that was a big crowd." Phil whispered as they entered a nearby park. It was late out and the only light was from the street lamps dotted around, it was too cloudy for the moon to give off any light. Dan took a glance behind him to see that the crowd had pretty much entirely dispersed, one of the guys that had been particularly rough was now picking up bits of his shattered camera off the ground, looking extremely confused.

"Who cares about that? Tell me about how the fuck you are a guitar player in a fucking band?!" 

"I think you should start letting people worry about you more Dan, its good for your mental health."

"answer my question," Dan retorted.

"well, back when I was in university, me and a group of friends decided to form a small co- I mean band and we've been playing since." he shrugged.

"so you're like a pro therapist by day and a bad boy guitar player by night." Dan said.

"something like that." Phil giggled, turning Dan's stomach into butterflies.

"So how long have you been playing for?" 

"well, I graduated university two years ago so I've been playing for that band for four years in august." 

"I wish I could have gone to university..." Dan sulks, he knew that he would have dropped out anyway but the fact that he couldn't actually go there because of how fast his career started was really depressing. 

"why didn't y- oh, your singing thing."

"yeah my 'singing thing'" 

"what would have you studied?" 

"Law, I think. Something different."

"Wow, I never knew you would like something like that."

"What, because im just a silly pop star with too many teenage girls chasing after me 24/7?"

"No-no I didn't mean it like that, I just never pegged you as a guy who would want to go into law. what made you want to do it?"

"Well, it was when I watched Legally blonde, I really wanted to sass to criminals about their hair and stuff but then I think that if I did get into a law school I would have had a better chance at being Buffy The Vampire Sl- oh are you just trying to get information out of me so you can go write it all down in your fancy notebook later?" 

"No! I save that for sessions, I never show my therapist side when im not in an appointment and anyway, I didn't know you liked Buffy? its my favourite show in the world."  
Dan stood still for a moment, they had walked all the way out of the park and along a little street with towering buildings and small shops and cafes. He never told anyone so much detail about him and only about three people knew that he had wanted to be a lawyer. Why did it seem so easy to talk to this person that he had only known for a few weeks. He guesses that its what comes with being a therapist and decides to lock everything that had previously been layed out before phil. 

"Well, I should get going, lovely to chat darling but I have a very important meeting tomorrow, with my therapist," Dan said, already walking away and leaving phil standing in the middle of the pavement. 

"Oh o-ok see you tomorrow Dan-"

Dan was already getting into a taxi that he could swear wasn't there thirty seconds ago. The moon hid back behind the clouds as drive home continued. The clouds looked heavy as ever but it dared not to rain. It's always like that in London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my lovelies!  
> sorry its been so long, ive not been feeling very good for a while on top of stressing about one direction's 10 year anniversary :(   
> hope you enjoy this chapter though mwah

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've been writing fanfictions since around 2014 (Harry Potter/Twilight/1D etc) but I've never uploaded on AO3 before so I hope you like this fic, I haven't written in a while but I have a good feeling about this. My writing skills will be developing over chapters so it'll hopefully get better but thanks for reading! ~ fae


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